p It is commonly believed that people who test HIV positive are infected with an incurable virus, and that without daily doses of multiple medicines, the virus will replicate unchecked and lead to an inevitable series of illnesses and infections that invariably result in death.
p As AIDS research has replaced the hope for a cure with the goal of creating more powerful anti-HIV treatments, AIDS organizations have directed their efforts to promoting and supplying drugs, while public health officials push for widespread and even mandatory testing to identify those in need of treatment.
p Treatment=Life, the newest battle cry in the war on AIDS, is regarded by most as an absolute truth, a rule without exception. While the media makes occasional mention of an HIV positive who lives without the drugs, such people are regarded as few in number, and usually described as mysteriously and temporarily lucky.
p This narrow view of AIDS leaves the general public unaware of the fact that there are thousands of men, women and children throughout the world who are naturally well many years after testing HIV positive. Of all the unanswered questions about AIDS, perhaps the most compelling one is why healthy people whose lives defy the HlV=AlDS=Death paradigm are being ignored. The following are just a few of the voices that need to be heard if we are ever to understand and resolve AIDS. [94•*
p “I tested positive for HIV over Memorial Day weekend 1986. I believe I was infected two years prior to that, so I have been ’living with HIV for at least 15 years. Four years ago, a.k.a. the ninth year of my death sentence, I finally allowed myself to recognize an undeniable fact of my own life. Without any medical intervention, including ‘antiretroviral’ medication, 1 was neither a) sick nor b) dead.
p “My path has taken me from a firm belief that HIV causes AIDS, to believing the immune system could be enhanced with nontoxic alternatives to antiretrovirals, to questioning whether HIV causes AIDS. This progression in thinking about HIV/AIDS is a direct result of my own personal experience. I understand that the notion that HIV might not cause AIDS is upsetting for many. I’m not raising the question merely to be provocative. The possibility that a horrendous mistake has been made is disturbing to me.
p “What’s really ironic is that my story is a positive one though I’m almost ashamed to admit it. Is it the last taboo: discussing your non-death from AIDS? But I can’t resist—I have to say it. These past four years, once I learned to let go of the fear, have been the most positive, life-affirming years of my life.
95p “As they say at Alive & Well: ’Relax, its only information.’ There is another side to the HIV/AIDS story. I think everybody with HIV or AIDS should be allowed to hear about it and make an informed decision for him or herself. A little free speech, open debate, and civil discourse never hurt anybody. To all doubters, I say take a deep breath, open your mind, and read.”
p David Fink, San Francisco, CA
p “In 1985, at the age of 25, having heard so much about the ’AIDS epidemic,’ I decided to take the test. I tested positive. I went for a second opinion and again the result was positive. Since I had heard and read that the virus could be dormant for a long time, I opted to eat well, exercise, take high quality vitamins and limit ’risky sex.’ However, my gut feeling was that something wasn’t adding up with AIDS, and I almost immediately chose not to accept the virus as a detriment to my health.
p “Throughout the years I’ve lived my life almost as if AIDS didn’t exist but still gathered information from various sources. I seldom take prescription drugs and never get flu shots. I seldom see a general practitioner and see a homeopath for little things that come up once in a while. I’ve had shingles three times due to job stress but bounce back quite rapidly. I don’t even take aspirin since I almost never get headaches. To this day, 1 have never been hospitalized and have not taken any of the drugs that are supposed to control or eradicate HIV"
p Cirilo Juarez, Los Angeles. CA
p “When I tested positive in 1988,1 was told I had only three years to live. Twelve years later, I’m doing just fine. I have never taken any AIDS drugs even though they were suggested and even pushed.
p “For so many years, my HIV status was a secret I kept to myself. 1 only told people on a need-to-know basis and that was always hell to do. HIV disrupted my life and my relationships on many levels. When I found out that there were facts about HIV and AIDS I hadn’t been told, it changed my life. I’m more open now, I help other people get educated about their choices.
p “In 1996 I got married—five years after I was supposed to be dead! I’m very alive and healthy and wish people would listen to me and other people like me for a change. Fear and isolation is what really kills people who test HIV positive. I fully believe that the HIV=AIDS hypothesis is a violation of our rights to life and liberty, and that ignorance is the real epidemic.”
p Michele M, Monterey. CA
p “I’ve known over 200 people who died of so-called AIDS. Every one of them had sufficient drug abuse or medical terrorism to account for their immune suppression. When I was told on January 7, 1988 that I was 96 HIV positive and had about two years to live, it came as a complete shock to me because I did not have a history of what was considered high-risk behavior.
p “What came as a bigger shock than testing positive was learning that no one was interested in investigating any natural cures. What it boiled down to was, if it wasn’t a drug, they didn’t want to know about it. By 1992 I had learned enough to convince me that AIDS was the greatest medical error of all time.
p “As I write this it has been eleven years since I first got tested. I’ve never developed any AIDS-defining illnesses. In fact, I haven’t had a cold in 19 years. I ride a bicycle for transportation all year round. 1 take no medications, no medical treatments, no vitamins or herbal supplements— just good food and ten minutes a day of exercise for the immune system.
p “Had I listened to the doctors in 1988,1 wouldn’t be here today. Now in my mid-fifties, I have a better body than I’ve ever had in my life. Most of my friends are close to half my age. HIV cost me a lot. I lost my income, my savings and a lot of friends. I thank God that I was smart enough to ’just say no’ to the doctors, so it didn’t cost me my health. If anything, as a result of what I learned, I’m healthier today than I’ve ever been.”
p Ed Lieb, New York. NY
p “I took an HIV test in May of 1990. It was recommended that I do so because I was pregnant. Since I come from a small town and have had only long-term relationships and remain in touch with my former boyfriends, I didn’t even consider the possibility of testing anything but negative. I know all of them and they are all fine. Instead, the test came back inconclusive.
p “ I took it again and that one gave a positive result. I was told that the change from inconclusive to positive meant that I had a new infection. Even though that made no sense as far as the circumstances of my life, I believed it.
p “The positive result left me in total shock. I believed everything 1 was told at the time including that I would become sick and die within five years. Since my T cells were high, I was not instructed to take any medicines. If they had been lower, or if they pushed me like they do to people today, 1 think 1 would be dead by now.
p “ I was told that I would have to decide what to do about my baby. The information 1 was given left me without much choice. They said that there were two scenarios: I could live long enough to watch my baby die of AIDS or I could leave my baby without a mother when I died of AIDS, knowing that my baby would die soon after me. How could I even think of having a child in such circumstances? Believing in the death sentence I had been given, I agreed to have a second trimester abortion. It was a terrible, terrible experience and the decision haunts me to this day. Knowing what I know now, I feel like the baby was killed because of the bad information I was given.
97p “ About two years later I met a man and we became involved in a fouryear relationship. He was absolutely certain that HIV did not cause AIDS. He had done a lot of research on the whole thing and decided that being HIV positive didn’t mean anything. You would think I would have been happy to be in a relationship with a man who was convinced I would be all right. Instead, I was miserable. I worried about him constantly. I was frustrated that he wouldn’t take my ‘condition’ seriously. I was also angry and bitter about having to die of AIDS. At that time, according to the doctors, I was in my last year of life. I still believed this even though I wasn’t ill. We ended up breaking up because I was so bitter, sad and angry. I was all caught up in the idea that I was going to die.
p ’In 1996, I found Alive & Well Alternatives and finally read the information. It has given me the facts and the strength to realize I am not dying and has totally changed my world. I’ve never been on any AIDS medicines and I would never take them knowing what I know now. I am still sorry for the baby I didn’t have, but am glad to be alive and to know that I can stay healthy.”
p Iola Mann, Los Angeles, CA
p “I tested positive in 1989 and have been living in wellness without the meds for ten years, something that still shocks people even though I’ve always been just fine. After watching my friends on AIDS drug therapies get sick and die, I decided that HIV drugs are poison and you can’t poison yourself back to health. I learned to do nothing ’for HIV Instead, I focus on being healthy.”
p Kim Freitas, Los Angeles, CA
p “In 1989, my husband Philip was diagnosed HIV positive during qualification for life insurance. We immediately saw a specialist who gave him six months to live. To add to our nightmare, I also tested HIV positive. We couldn’t believe that two people like us, nice people from nice families, were having to deal firsthand with AIDS.
p “We went to an internationally renowned doctor at the forefront of AIDS research who confirmed Philip’s prognosis. Even though we were frightened and upset, we felt fortunate to be in the care of a respected leader on the cutting edge of AIDS developments. This doctor provided Philip with experimental drugs six months to a year before they were available to the public. At least 10 times, the doctor told me that Philip would not pull through whatever infection he was going through. Ten times, I went through the fear, heartache, and panic that 1 was losing my husband. Six years after being told he had just months to live, Philip died in my arms. I know that the five years he added to his life were generated by his deep faith, his passion for life, and his love for me.
p “ I had been positive and healthy for seven years when the doctor decided, due to a drop in my T cells, that it was time for me to start the medicines. Until then, I had never questioned my doctor, the drugs, or the idea that 98 HIV causes AIDS. I lived in fear of getting sick although I was never ill during the entire seven years. Once I was told it was my turn to take the drugs, I realized I had to make the most important decision of my life.
p “My doctor gave me no facts or education about the drug treatments, only emotionally charged orders and fear. I had seen what the drugs did to my husband and I was terrified. In desperation, I called Christine Maggiore. We had met in 1992 in a support group for HIV positive women. Even though I liked and respected her, I questioned the choices she had made to reject not only the AIDS drugs, but the whole idea that HIV causes AIDS. What she said didn’t just rock the boat, it sunk it. I was frustrated that my life was on the line and the only person I could turn to for help was Christine. I had no one to confer or consult with. My husband was gone and 1 couldn’t call my family—all highly successful professionals—and ask them to help me evaluate information from some lady with a website and flyers.
p “I asked Christine to give me just the scientific information and nothing else. No stories or emotional hype, only the facts. I had to go to her office several times to read because I became so distraught that I couldn’t continue for more than 15 minutes. Everything I read described and explained what I had been through with my husband. My worst fears were being confirmed—the drugs had made my husband suffer tremendously, and had eventually killed him. And until that day, I hadn’t been able to hear what Christine had tried to tell me.
p “I started attending Alive & Well events to learn more. HIV positives who chose not to follow mainstream medicine encouraged me to think for myself. I felt like I was on a dangerous, courageous and mindexpanding journey. Ultimately I decided that the AIDS drugs were not for me. I decided to trust my own life.
p “After I made the decision, I took my last diagnostic test, a viral load for a study I have since dropped. A year before I did this, I had alreadydecided AIDS was no longer a part of my life; I had declared myself ’AIDS-free.’ 1 find my ‘undetectable’ result an affirmation of this decision. 1 currently see a doctor of naturopathic medicine who helps me attain my health goals. I have safely lost 65 pounds and look and feel better than I have in many years.
p “When we believe the doctors and accept that we are going to die, this belief, inconspicuous at first, must eventually manifest in our lives. Believing in health is the first step to creating a healthy life. Holding the possibility of health is everything.”
p Cynthia Rogers, Los Angeles, CA
p “I tested positive in 1990, and ten years later I am healthy and medication-free. When I was first told I was positive 1 went through the standard terror with my life flashing before my eyes. I followed my doctors orders for treatment with AZT and soon after I became ill. I had flu-like symptoms day and night. It got to the point where I’d come home from 99 work and just collapse on the couch. When I told my doctor how I felt he said ’Well, what do you expect, you’re HIV positive!?’
p “After a year of feeling sick, I listened to my inner voice and quit AZT Except for a brief foray into ddl, I’ve been off meds ever since. I have three recommendations for anyone who tests positive—education, education, education about all aspects and points of view on HIV and AIDS. And remember, people do get sick sometimes, so if it happens, be realistic and don’t freak out. Don’t automatically assume it’s related to HIV My doctor now classifies me as a ‘long-term non-progressor!’~"
p “It all started in the winter of 1984 with swollen glands, a rash on my legs, and night sweats. I saw a doctor who took my temperature, said I had a slight fever, felt the swollen glands and kidded ’you aren’t gay, are you?’ When I said that I was, his tone immediately changed. He went out of the examination room and I heard him ask his nurse to take my blood. He said this could be AIDS so be sure and use gloves. Her response was an emphatic no. The doctor came back in the room wearing a surgical mask and gloves. After many pathetic attempts to find a vein he finally got a few vials.
p “Three days later he called and said the blood results were not good. This was before the Western Blot and ELISA were available. He said that my T cell count was below 200 and it appeared that I had AIDS. He told me that he thought I would be dead within six months, and it would not be pretty.
p “I saw another doctor for a second opinion and his conclusions were the same. My T cells were shot and opportunistic infection would set in any day. I started taking an experimental drug I smuggled in from Mexico but the doctor didn’t want to follow up with me to see if it was doing any good. He just told me to take two pills four times a day, and when I asked for how long, he said ’forever.’
p “ I didn’t feel any worse and continued to go weekly for blood work and was always told my counts were terrible. This continued for two months until the lab technician demanded payment. I told her my HMO covered it but she said They aren’t paying for this, you need to pay today.’ I took off the rubber tube she was using to constrict my vein, walked out and never went back. I continued with the experimental drug for about a year, until the FDA decided that it was basically worthless. My spirits dropped dramatically but something was funny, I was still alive.
p “Each day after work I would go home, eat dinner, look for Kaposi’s Sarcoma and thrush, feel how swollen my glands were, go to bed and wait to die. I slept 20 hours a day on the weekends. 1 remember I took a vacation to Mexico and spent it in bed. The news was full of AIDS articles and they always ended with ’no one has ever recovered’ or ’everyone with this disease dies.’
p “ My symptoms, except the swollen glands, all went away after about eight months. I made it a point never to go back to my HMO doctors. If I had 100 Emacs-File-stamp: "/home/ysverdlov/leninist.biz/en/2000/WIE126/20070710/126.tx" a sinus infection or any other medical problem, I went to one of the urgent care centers and always paid cash.
p “Then AZT came onto the scene. I think it was a television news conference with Dr. Gallo saving what a remarkable discovery it was. I didn’t trust the man, there was something wrong. I never pursued it and kept to my regimen of working, eating, sleeping and waiting for the disease to take me. By then, several of my friends had been diagnosed with AIDS, all were put on AZT, and all died within one year. Each of their doctors had understated the side effects and exaggerated the curative aspects of this drug.
p “In 1997, I made an appointment with an HMO doctor for a problem unrelated to HIV or AIDS. He said something that startled me: ’You know, we have made quite a bit of progress with AIDS and there are many new drugs you might consider.’ I said I had no symptoms and didn’t think that was for me. He said ’You need to start them before you have the symptoms.’ I laughed to myself and told him I would think about it. In 1999, 15 years after I was given six months to live, I celebrated my 47th birthday.”
p Don McCoy, Laguna Beach, CA
p “While living in New York City in 1982, my doctor informed me that I had contracted ’the virus that’s affecting gay men.’ Remember GRID? I was later diagnosed HIV positive as soon as the current testing methods became available.
p “Fast-forward 18 years. I run a successful interior design business, I work out several times a week, I enjoy hiking and practicing T’ai Chi. In all this time I have never had any opportunistic infections. I enjoy good health, not so much for what I am doing with my life but rather for what I am not doing: I am not taking toxic HIV-related pharmaceutical drugs. It’s the drugs, not the virus, that are killing people who test positive! I congratulate myself for having the courage to open my mind and I thank groups like Alive & Well for providing me with life-affirming information.”
p Michael Koslosky. Los Angeles, CA
p “ I am 28 years old and approaching a healthy 29, an age a doctor once told me I would never reach. When I was 20,1 moved from Australia to Japan where I spent a year as an entertainer singing on a cruise ship and in various bars and restaurants in Osaka. Toward the end of my stay, me and my partner Ruichi and a group of friends visited the historic city of Kyoto. While we were there, we all went to an HIV testing clinic. I had been having frequent unprotected sex with Ruichi for about three months, and prior to that I had unprotected sex with one of the other guys getting tested, so it seemed that I should join them and take the test.
p “At the time, my primary source of HIV and AIDS information, like the majority of the general public, was the media. I remember one TV commercial that aired in Australia that portrayed AIDS as the Grim Reaper in a bowling alley. He used his deadly balls to knock out men, women and children who appeared as helpless bowling pins.
101p “Our test results arrived by mail two weeks later, all in the same envelope, and we opened it together. The results were in Japanese so Ruichi read them out loud going down the list one by one. ’Riuchi: negative,’ he looked at me and smiled. ’David: negative, Renee: negative, Dean...’ and he paused, eyes wide. My heart skipped a beat as I waited for him to continue: ’Dean: positive.’
p “My first reaction was disbelief. I was healthy and so was everyone 1 had ever slept with. I figured I was going to die, and knowing so little about AIDS, I figured I had three to six months left before I would be bowled over. I was so ashamed. I called all my past sex partners advising them to be tested. All of them were negative.
p “ 1 went into a phase of denial. I convinced myself that my test result was wrong. 1 waited three months and then tested again in Australia. The sympathy I received at the testing clinic was not encouraging. The most optimistic doctor gave me 10 years to live but noted that at least two of those years would include devastating disease. This beat my own prognosis of six months, but did not give me much to look forward to.
p “After a few months of soul searching, the existence of the mind-body connection occurred to me. I quickly discovered I was not the only one to recognize that disease was more than a random physical mishap. Since then, and for more than seven years, I have read everything I can find on alternative medicine, science, self-help and spirituality. I’ve also tried many alternative therapies and techniques for improving the mind and the body. I have never taken any medication, but have instead focused on maintaining health. I’ve learned to keep an open mind to new ideas, and not to believe everything experts have to say.
p “I no longer believe that HIV causes AIDS, and this belief is not denial. I experienced denial when I suppressed my fears of dying. My belief may not be proved by government-funded AIDS research, but the government has done little that would suggest it cares about the well-being of humanity above all else. Avoiding death is not my number one priority—living is.
p “What I find hardest is living with the stigma of HIV I’m young, healthy, intelligent and very well-educated on HIV and AIDS, yet I am isolated by the fear and ignorance surrounding a condition I don’t even believe in. Being a leader rather than a follower can be lonely and difficult. Maintaining a stance against the majority of the human population is a trying task. I don’t have the time to educate everyone, even if they were interested, and when I do tell others about what I know, they are so convinced that HIV=AIDS=Death that they think I’m doomed and that my optimism is merely fear or hope or both.
p “I do have hope. I hope that people will look deeper and listen more. That they will demand to be treated as precious beings more important than politics, money, and abstract theory. It takes people like us to be the first and the most determined. Life goes on, chose to be a part of it!”
p Dean W, Los Angeles, CA
102p “I tested positive in May of 1995. That may not seem terribly interesting until you consider that prior to the test, I had never had ’unprotected sex.’ After extensive research 1 decided that the AIDS meds were not for me. I found out about Alive &r Well through my acupuncturist.
p “I am happy to say that 1 am just as healthy as 1 was when 1 was in high school, except for my usual allergies and chronic flat feet. While I am not technically a long-term survivor,’ I am here to encourage you to do what I did: research for yourself, get the information and make up your own mind.”
p Lou Rosenblate, Hollywood, CA
p “1 was required by law to take an HIV test in June of 1995. The test is mandatory in Colorado for pregnant women, and 1 was expecting my second child. I was shocked when the results came back positive because I’d been married and monogamous for nine years. My situation became even more incomprehensible when my husband and daughter tested negative, and I realized my only risk was a blood transfusion I had in 1974, 21 years before this test. Even though I had been healthy for two decades, I didn’t question what I was told. My intuition told me not to take the AZT that doctors said would cut the chance of me giving HIV to my baby They finally wore me down, and I started taking AZT in my fifth month.
p “After ten months on AZT, I was sick all the time. I had constant diarrhea, nausea, fevers, night sweats and was totally exhausted. I felt like I had a horrible flu that wouldn’t go away and I kept developing infections. I was crawling to the bathroom and vomiting for hours. My doctors told me HIV was making me ill, that the virus had mutated into a form that was resistant to AZT, and that I had to go on more drugs to stay alive. Two months after adding 3TC to my treatment regimen, my skin started turning yellow with jaundice. 1 know that drugs cause jaundice because my father had died of liver failure from heart medicines. Since it was clear that the drugs weren’t keeping me from getting AIDS and were actually destroying my liver, I let my prescription run out. I figured I’d rather die from AIDS than liver failure.
p “Almost immediately after I stopped taking my medicines—within just a matter of days—I started feeling much better. I had more energy and I wasn’t feeling sick. Several months later, all my symptoms disappeared, and I haven’t been sick since. I don’t think I was ever sick with AIDS, I think I had AZT poisoning. I’m glad that I never gave my daughter Rachel the liquid AZT I was supposed to put in her bottle.
p “ I took the HIV test twice after Rachel was born and got an indeterminate and a negative result. My daughter is considered a success by medical standards because she tests negative, but I don’t care about HIV anymore. I’m concerned about the effects of the AZT she was poisoned with while I was pregnant. Rachel has an enlarged cranium, seizures and a strange deformity near the base of her spine. At age three, still does not speak. I went to this conference on HIV and pregnancy at the Children’s Hospital 103 here in Denver. A lot of the mothers there had taken AZT during pregnancy and had their kids with them. Every single one of those kids had enlarged craniums. Their kid’s heads looked exactly like Rachel’s. They’re all AZT babies. I’m working now to repeal Colorado’s mandatory testing law.”
p Kris Chmiel, Denver, CO
p “I have been positive, healthy and not on any medicines since being diagnosed positive back in 1984. I can’t use my full name as I am a fitness trainer and most people think that HIV=AIDS and leads to death— not exactly good for business!
p “ I attribute my wellness to refusing doctor’s orders, listening to my body and practicing a pretty good diet. Love and support from family help, too.”
p Jaime P, West Hollywood, CA
p “I have been HIV positive since 1983 and decided even then that I wasn’t going to let HIV get the better of me. I declined AZT treatment when it was offered early on because I’d watched so many people die while taking it. Instead, I took vitamins, ate properly and worked out.
p “In 1987, my partner died and I was overwhelmed with grief. I spent the next five years fighting a serious problem with alcohol addiction. I finally decided that if I didn’t get treatment I would die from the alcohol, and I didn’t want to go like that.
p “In 1996, the AIDS drug cocktails came out and there was such elation, almost hysteria. The new tests were great, the new drugs were great, and everybody was living longer. It was the first good thing to happen in AIDS in the last 15 years. I bought into all the glowing media reports and decided to take the drugs. For a while, I didn’t have any side effects except that my cholesterol was rising. After about nine months on the treatments, I started to gain weight, but I looked thinner because my face was getting gaunt. I developed an extended belly, my cheekbones sunk in, and my arms started to waste away. The first time I’d ever felt sick since testing positive was a direct result of taking the medication.
p “I got more information about the drugs through HEAL Toronto, and after speaking with Christine Maggiore, one year into the drugs, I decided to quit them. Since then, I’ve had no problems at all and everything in my body is back to normal. My doctor was annoyed at first, but ultimately he supported my decision. I feel great these days and haven’t looked back. I don’t go to the gym, but I have a dog and I walk him to the park every day. I tell myself my body is healthy and I’m going to live a long and happy life at least once a day.”
p Adam Shane, Toronto, Canada
104p “I was diagnosed HIV positive in the 80s and immediately went into three years of complete denial. I never talked about it or did anything about it. Finally the media campaign HIV=AIDS=Death got to me and I decided it was time to go to an HIV doctor.
p ”My T cell count was 900; viral load tests were not available then. The doctor put me on AZT, ddl and other medicines. I never questioned the doctor. After approximately two years of taking the HIV drugs, my stomach started getting bloated and I had diarrhea every day. My friend Aaron told me to stop taking the drugs, that they were toxic, but I thought he was crazy.
p ’Aaron then invited me to attend a meeting in West Hollywood in 1995 where Dr. Peter Duesberg was the speaker. It was too much for me to take in all at once, but one thing stuck in my brain: Dr. Duesberg, a Nobel candidate, affirms that HIV is not the cause of AIDS.
p “ I took this new information to my HIV doctor. He responded by scaring me with graph after graph showing how HIV was the cause of AIDS. According to his graphs, if I stopped treatment with AZT and the other drugs, I would develop AIDS and die. According to him, those pills were going to enhance the years of life I had left.
p “ I started to attend the Alive & Well meetings once a month and without telling my doctor, I stopped taking AZT and all the other pills. I then decided it was time to change doctors. I did some research and found an MD that also uses homeopathic treatments. He supported my decision to stop taking the HIV drugs. I then learned about Candida. How come my first doctor never told me anything about it? Within two weeks of doing Candida treatments, my stomach was back to normal and the diarrhea was gone. Now that 1 was off of the drugs, I started educating myself about nutrition and the immune system. The Alive & Well meetings were very informative and helped me with my research.
p “I have been HIV positive and AIDS-free for over 10 years. Now, when I have a health problem, I treat the problem and not HIV I am very in tune with my immune system. I no longer count my T cells or viral load.”
p Nick, Beverly Hilts, CA
p “In May of 1998, 1 found out that I was pregnant with my first child. I had been seeing the same gynecologist (who is also an obstetrician) for seven years, and she always told me that I had done ’everything right.’ I was 29 years old, had been married for six years, took very good care of my health, and had an established career. During a monthly prenatal visit, the nurse said that they would be taking blood. Since I hate needles, I asked why. She told me that they were testing for anemia. A week later I received a frantic phone call from the doctor informing me that I had tested HIV positive. I had no idea that I had even been tested for HIV I would have never considered myself to be ’at-risk.’
105p “I was immediately referred to an infectious disease doctor. He tested me again and the result came back positive. He also tested my husband who was inexplicably positive. Although a thorough physical examination failed to show any signs of ill-health—we both felt fine and all our other blood tests, including T cells and viral load, did not indicate otherwise— we were both advised to begin drug therapy. I was told to take AZT for the remainder of my pregnancy while he was told to take the cocktails. Nothing seemed to add up—we have been together for many years, completely monogamous, are exceptionally healthy (my husband runs 4-5 miles a day and competes in marathons) and we have no risk factors. Although the doctors kept promising to ’fill us up with data’ my husband and I felt neither comfortable nor convinced.
p “These should have been the darkest days of my life, but as serendipity would have it, there was a copy of What if Everything You Thought You Knew About AIDS Was Wrong? sitting on our bookshelf that had been sent to us as a gift. I read the book, called members of HEAL, contacted Christine Maggiore, and with their help, began an immediate plan of action that included leaving my doctor of seven years in order to elude the HIV police.
p “The result of my otherwise eventless pregnancy is a healthy, happy, breastfed baby girl. I have found a holistic MD who supports our decisions, and our family leads a totally normal life. Normal except for the fear that we could have our daughter taken away from us because of the choices we’ve made regarding our health. Just last week, the infectious disease specialist who wanted us on the drugs called our home. Once we got the facts, we left his practice and have not seen him for more than a year. He was calling to make sure our family was receiving ’proper treatment.’ I’m thankful we were able to avoid falling into a system that would have left us utterly without knowledge of our options.
p “I don’t know how long my husband and I have been ’HIV positive’— since we met eight years ago? Before that? Since May of 1998? Nothing about our situation makes any sense. The only sense we have found is in the data that shows that most of the ideas we all have about AIDS are wrong.”
p Stacey Armstrong, Austin. TX
p “I’m certain I became HIV positive in December of 1992 because 1 had the distinct feeling that something happened to me around that time. This feeling was confirmed when I tested HIV positive a few months later. I had just returned to the US from Zimbabwe where I had been living and where I met my husband.
p “Since I was already leading a very healthy life, I determined that I would rely on my good health and what I consider our inherent ability to be well rather than following mainstream medical protocol. 1 don’t take drugs. Whether they are pushed on the street or pushed by doctors, 106 drugs are detrimental. 1 studied what was being said about HIV and AIDS, calculated my risks of becoming ill, and figured I would take my chances and do things my way.
p “Initially, I had my T cells monitored regularly. My blood counts have always been on the low side of normal and I’m never sick. I’ve also been very open about my HIV status and my choices. I think it’s important to provide people with another image of what HIV positive means. If I were to accept everything that’s said about HIV and AIDS, I would be living as if I were dying. I’m living. Also, as a person of color, it would be suicidal for me to stake my life on a white, male, Western model of medicine. I don’t give the medical establishment the power and authority to make decisions for me.
p “In 1996, during a trip to Africa, I got malaria. I came home feeling very ill and went to the HIV clinic I frequent for medical care. A doctor there took some blood and without my permission—and with the knowledge I was sick with malaria—ran a T cell count. When the count came back at less than 200, he reported me as an official AIDS case.
p “When I found out I was pregnant, I felt certain I could give birth to a healthy baby, but checked in with the clinic doctor for the latest information on drug treatment, AZT and breastfeeding. Although I planned to deliver with a midwife, I asked what would happen if I ended up laboring in a hospital. The answer—12 hours of AZT by IV, a C section, and formula feeding with AZT liquid—sealed my decision to stay out of the system.
p “A few months before 1 was to deliver, I started receiving letters from this doctor that became more threatening as I neared my due date. Even though I replied that I was dealing with my situation in a responsible manner, he reported me to Child Protective Services. When CPS investigators came looking for me, I went to my sister’s house. CPS told my mother they wanted to bring her in for questioning, and that they planned to notify the police if she did not cooperate by revealing my whereabouts. Deane Collie of the International Coalition for Medical Justice intervened on my behalf, and was able to convince the CPS not to involve the police or make further threats to my family.
p “Ten days after our baby was born at a friend’s house, my husband and I packed up our entire lives and fled the state for good. We left behind a home, careers, friends, and family. This is what we have to do to keep our son off toxic AIDS drugs, receiving vital nourishment and immune protection through breastfeeding, and in our custody. As I write this, we have no idea where we are going or what we will do, but at least our son is healthy and in our care.”
p Katrine Jones. Somewhere in America
p “ I have been HIV positive and healthy for more than twelve years, without ever having taken AIDS treatments. I first tested positive in 1987.
107p “I’m a performance artist and writer. A lot of my work challenges conventional ideas about HIV and AIDS. I’m also a former heroin and coke addict. I attribute my good health to stopping those drugs, and ignoring the advice of my doctors to take their drugs instead. If you’d like to know more about my life and my work, email me at fgreen@core. com.”
p “ One of the most devastating experiences of my life was when I found out, in 1992, that my husband had tested HIV positive. The other was when he died in October 1998. He said something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life and it says everything about being diagnosed HIV positive. He said, ’If somebody asked me before this, who are you? I would say I am Cesar, or I am an engineer, or I am Louise’s father, or I am Teresa’s husband. Now, if somebody asks me, the answer is: I am HIV positive.’ Our whole world fell apart. From the minute he was diagnosed, nothing counted anymore. A whole person is defined with three letters, HIV Everything else vanishes, nothing else is important. Cesar, my husband, died, among other things, of shame.
p “ One of the first things I decided to do after Cesar tested positive was to call the 800 numbers to get more information on AIDS. I remember the first place I called, I was so desperate that I blurted out: ’I just found out my husband is HIV positive and we have a one-year-old baby. What are our chances of not having it?’ The AIDS counselor said: ’Sorry, no chances. You have it and so does your baby.’ Can you imagine our despair? Cesar cried, hit his head against the wall and screamed: This is the only thing my baby will inherit from me!’ At that moment, we decided to kill ourselves, that the only way out would be death. But thinking which one of us would kill Louise, our beautiful baby, stopped us. I later learned that I was not HIV positive then, I am not now, and that our daughter is HIV negative.
p “When Cesar and I found out he was positive, we knew only the establishment position. We had never heard about Peter Duesberg, or alternative information, or that there was life after HIV We were desperate and lived waiting for Cesar’s death. After I found Dr. Duesberg and read what he had to say, our lives went back to normal. Our sexual life, and our marriage was like everybody’s—we even tried to have another child. My point is not that Duesberg is right—although I am convinced that he is. My point is that the establishment’s approach is all wrong. HIV is a matter of faith. It is pure hysteria. The establishment gave us, since the first minute, despair and death.
p “Do I think Cesar’s immune system was compromised? You bet I do. He was treated with antibiotics since his childhood to prevent diseases, he had many surgeries when he was a little boy, his immune system was destroyed during the course of his life, but not because of HIV His history was never taken into consideration. Once the doctors found out he was HIV positive, that’s what they wanted to treat, nothing else mattered.
108p “Since Cesar died, our lives—mine and Louises—changed drastically. We lost many things, among them, our car. When I was cleaning the car, I found a letter in the glove compartment written in hand by Cesar that said if he was not capable to decide for himself, he wanted everybody to know he didn’t want to be treated for HIV, he didn’t want to take any drugs for the virus. Why did he change his mind? 1 was right there with him in July of 1998 when the doctor pressured him to take drugs and told him that it would be better for him, that he could live a long life. The doctor never mentioned that Cesar would become paralyzed, that he would have to wear diapers, that he would have unbearable cramps. They waited until he was in the hospital to tell us that his paralysis was the side effect of one of the drugs he was taking. How can a doctor prescribe something whose side effect is paralysis?
p “When Cesar took the drugs in 1992, he became very sick and developed many symptoms of AIDS. That’s why he stopped taking them—without even knowing there were other opinions about HIV
p “In 1998, the doctor told him that the drugs were different, that they were nothing like they were in 1992 and that he had many patients who were doing well with them. I told Cesar that five years from now that same doctor will be talking to another patient about the new drugs they’ll have then. He’ll say how bad the drugs were five years before and swear the new ones are completely different.
p “I refuse to let Cesar, a whole person, so sensitive, so special, be simply a statistic. He was a whole person, a great human being, that lost everything, including his dignity and his life, because of some people who, in trying to get Nobel prizes and earn fortunes, give the public the wrong information.”
p “I’ve been HIV positive for 16 years. I’m a writer and performer, and in my work I emphasize survival and self-determination over the usual death and medical dependency associated with HIV It’s not like I want to second-guess the medical profession, but I have to go with what I know in my heart.
p “In the fall of 1996, 1 came down with PCP pneumonia, one of the hallmark AIDS diseases. I was scared and this was when the cocktails first started coming out, so I decided to try them. I also took drugs for the PCP but when it cleared up, I stopped and just stayed on the cocktail.
p “All my numbers were great. My T cells were up, and my viral load was down. But I felt awful. Here I was, a vegetarian who never even took aspirin, and all of a sudden I’m on all these powerful drugs. I had to take pills three or four times a day, some with meals, some without. My whole life revolved around drugs. I was all bloated and kept breaking out into rashes. I had to keep getting up through the night and go to the bathroom, so I was always exhausted. I had horrible neuropathy in my feet to the 109 point where I could hardly walk. I felt my body falling apart, not from HIV, but from the drugs. I was always very aware of my body, and I could feel that I was putting poison into it.
p “I finally went to my doctors and told them I didn’t want to take the drugs anymore, and they called me a fool. They were very dramatic and told me it was suicide to stop. So instead of stopping, I went on a new combination of drugs. My speech was slurred and I kept losing my equilibrium. When I fell down a flight of stairs at my house, that was the last straw. I just stopped taking them. My T cells went down and my viral load went up, but I felt healthy again. Two years after quitting the treatment, I feel better than ever.”
p Steven Goldring, Cleveland, OH
p “I tested positive in 1989. I’ve always lived a healthy lifestyle, I don’t drink, and I’ve never done a drug in my life. Due to my antidrug philosophy, I seldom took the medicines offered to me by my doctors, and have never taken any treatments for HIV
p ”I have a strong belief, backed up by much documented evidence, that the body, if treated with respect, will take care of itself. But the interesting part of my story is due to the fact that after my initial HIV test which was positive, I subsequently tested negative, then once again positive, and then negative.
p “ I will not take another HIV test due to its highly inaccurate and unreliable results, which even the New England Journal of Medicine notes as being nonspecific and open to interpretation. 1 have never suffered from anything other than common flu and colds, and even once bacterial pneumonia. I’ve always been healthy with the exception of the illnesses I have mentioned. To anyone who’s tested positive I would like to say: Take control of your life. Educate yourself to the facts like I did and become another long-term survivor!”
p Greg Drolette, Los Angeles, CA
p “I tested HIV positive on August 20, 1985. My doctor’s clientele were mostly children and babies, so she had some fears about continuing to see me in her office. She was concerned particularly about airborne HIV so she shuffled me off to another doctor. A nice message to my subconscious that 1 am a dangerous person.
p “His treatment was a combination of vitamin C injections and heparin as he thought this would prevent a further decline of the T cell helpersuppressor ratio. I went along with this for a few months. However, I had never looked favorably on drugs and decided to stop the treatment. All the while, I was being fed the negativity of how fatal this virus was by my lover and my doctor. 1 was having lots of canker sores in my mouth along with chronic fatigue. Then one day something clicked and 1 realized I needed to get away from this negative input. So I dropped my doctor 110 and my lover, and was soon doing quite well. This really brought home to me how much fear and negativity impact ones health.
p “Around mid-1995,1 left the AIDS clinic where I had been going. Although I was continually being pressured by the nurses and physicians to start some kind of drug therapy, this was not the reason I left. I left because I was twice refused treatment because my condition was not HIV-related. I found this quite annoying as I’ve always been of the opinion that you treat the whole person and don’t refuse needed treatment because it falls outside of some category.
p “Soon after this, I was thrilled to discover that I was not alone in the struggle to deal with this HIV phenomenon. In early 1997, I found a doctor who was open to alternative treatment and agreed not to push drug treatment on me or push the prevailing HIV hypothesis. She does not necessarily agree with my views but she’s very clear that you must respect your patient’s views. She also teaches at a medical school and periodically invites me to speak to new medical students about my views on HIV and AIDS. She wants them to develop the same attitude and to help them see that prevailing medical doctrine is to be questioned.
p “I am doingjust fine after over 14 years. It took me some time to realize that I’m not going to die prematurely. One of the hardest things of this whole HIV mess is seeing so many friends die. In 1995 I lost nine, supposedly from AIDS. All of them insisted on doing the various drug therapies despite my efforts to dissuade them. One person who I tried to talk to says he very much believes in Western medicine and that one’s belief is the senior thing; that’s why drugs work for him and not taking drugs works for me. I say, if it’s a matter of belief, who would choose a belief where you have to take toxic drugs?”
p Andy Swenson, SHverlake, CA
p “I was a long term heroin addict for some 20 years. I started using as a teenager and come from the school of ’just say yes!’ to any and all drugs. Well, one day in 1985 I’m at work as a carpenter and I fall off a roof and break my back, pelvis, wrist, and other bones. I was in a lot of pain so the doctor wanted to administer Demerol when I told him that I’m an addict who has a resistance to opiates. As a result, I got—without my knowledge—an HIV test. Two or three days later, while in traction, I’m suddenly moved out of my hospital room and put in an isolation room. I’m alone now and everyone begins to wear masks and rubber gloves when they enter. Is there any need to mention how that made me feel? My employer receives a document from his insurance company that tells him I’m HIV positive. So much for confidentiality regarding my health status. I’m so ashamed that I never return to work, besides my boss doesn’t want me around because of my ’condition.’ No better excuse does a person without the highest self-esteem need to continue down the self-destructive path of addiction, especially because now I was definitely going to die. The man in the white lab coat told me so...
111p “ Fast-forward to November 1992. I’m in a drug and alcohol rehab center and a volunteer gives me a photocopy of Celia Farber’s 1991 article in SPIN magazine ’Fatal Distraction.’ That was the beginning of the rest of my life. I began spitting out my AZT. I began a journey of recover)’ from addiction.
p “The medical clinic I went to early in my sobriety told me I was just ‘lucky’ to be as healthy as I was because I refused to take their damn drugs. I have a holistic physician who has given me some IV vitamin therapy to restore some vital nutrients to my system—20 years of alcohol and drug abuse will deplete your immunity and your nutrient levels. I’ve been married four years now, am completely healthy at age 49, and in better shape than ever before in my life. I’ve been a vegetarian for six years and volunteer in rehab but they won’t allow me to share the truth about HIV in that forum...something about it being against the law, so I do the best I can anywhere I can with the information.
p “ I have taken responsibility for my own life and have not allowed someone in a white lab coat do it for me. Had I chosen that path they offered me, I know I would be dead. I’m a survivor because someone had the guts to tell me the truth about the HIV=AIDS=Death lie. It’s bad science in the hands of bad government.”
p “After using heroin for four years, I went for an extended stay in Mexico to deal with my addiction. After successfully giving up heroin, 1 came home. Later, in 1987,1 tested HIV positive. At the time, my T cell count was 400 and my doctor was very pessimistic about the future. Instead of giving up, I decided to make a longtime dream of going hiking in the Himalayas come true. It was 1988.
p “When I returned from Nepal, my T cell count was 1220 and my doctor was completely baffled. I began to explore homeopathy. After a period of good health, in 1990, I began to feel very tired. My doctor insisted, in spite of my high T cell count, that it was because of HIV 1 changed my diet to organic foods even though throughout all of this, I was repeatedly pressured to go on AZT. Finally, I was diagnosed with hepatitis B. I stopped drinking alcohol and, in 1991, went to India and began a curative diet of fruits and coconut milk. After regaining my strength and returning home at the end of summer, I discovered that I was pregnant. Again, I was pressured to take AZT. I was also pressured to abort. I refused. My baby was born HIV positive and following the birth, my T cell count was very low and I was exhausted. Although I was continually pressured to expose my baby to numerous tests and to give him AZT, I declined. One year later, I consented to having my baby tested a second time. He tested HIV negative.
p “Although I have had other health challenges since, I treat each problem individually and live a full life in France with my son and husband. It has been 13 years since I tested HIV positive.”
p Sylvie Cousseau, Pans, Franco
112p “ In October 1990, we adopted a little girl born in Romania when she was just a few days old. When we brought her to America two months later, Lilly was a happy healthy baby. We took her for a complete medical exam that included an HIV test. The result was positive, and although she had no symptom of illness, she was immediately put on AZT syrup and Septra, a powerful antibiotic. We investigated and discovered that her birth mother tested HIV negative. This information seemed not to matter, we were told Lilly had the ’AIDS virus.’ For close to a year, we gave her AZT and other drugs, until by the grace of God, we determined that the drugs were making her very ill.
p “During her first 18 months on the drugs, Lillys health declined. She was hyperactive, almost as though she didn’t feel comfortable in her body. She didn’t eat properly and suffered nausea and diarrhea and fell behind in growth rate. Doctors attributed her problems to HIV and increased the dosage. A few months later, her doctor began pressuring us to add ddl to our daughter’s drug regimen. She praised Lilly’s progress at each visit even though by then Lilly had completely stopped growing and her T cells were dropping. Then for three months in 1992, Lilly woke up in the middle of the night grabbing her knees and screaming in pain. We took her to the University of Minnesota after the screaming bouts started. The doctor barely acknowledged what we were saying and left us with the impression ’Well what do you expect? This kid is dying of AIDS.’
p “In desperation, we turned to Dr. Peter Duesberg, a source we had previously discounted. We had read a couple articles about Duesberg but never gave his views serious consideration; now we wrote to him at UC Berkeley asking for advice. He responded promptly with a package of literature and we started researching for ourselves.
p “Almost immediately we understood our daughter’s problem was not an immune deficiency, but the side-effects of drugs. We took her off them and have not looked back since. Two days after we stopped the AZT, her leg cramps stopped. She started sleeping much better and began eating two to three times as much as she had ever eaten before. We found a doctor who uses a holistic approach to disease that puts a big emphasis on nutrition. After two months of nutritional therapy, she started gaining weight. By 27 months of age, she was back in the 10* percentile of growth.
p “When we tried to discuss our decision to stop AZT with the MD at the university and put Lilly’s real progress in perspective, we were verbally attacked and treated as if we were children. We didn’t tell the doctor that Lilly was off the drugs that day. Instead, we sent a letter. Her response was to threaten to have Lilly removed from our home. She said that taking her off AZT would hasten her decline and death, and that there are foster homes for children whose parents don’t go along with the medical community.
p “Eight years later, Lilly is a perfectly healthy little girl. She does well in school, has lots of friends, enjoys riding her bike and is an avid swimmer.”
113p “ If you had told me five years ago that I would believe that HIV didn’t cause AIDS, that I’d question AIDS drugs, I’d have thought you were crazy. I had a lover for seven years who was diagnosed positive and he took the treatment at the time which was AZT monotherapy. Knowing what we know now about AZT, I really believe that’s what killed him. And as he sat on his deathbed, I think that’s what he was thinking, too, because he begged me to take him off the drugs. But because I believed that dying from HIV would be more horrendous than from any toxic side effect, I encouraged him to stay on the drugs. I now want to stop this insidious death ritual where people, out of caring and compassion, are administering death to their loved ones.
p “If you take out a liter of my blood, you can’t find any virus, you can only find antibodies. I learned in Biology 101 that the body produces antibodies to kill things like a virus. If you can’t find the virus and you can find antibodies, why can I not conclude that my body has done the job it’s designed to do? That if I test positive on an HIV test, it is not a result of immune suppression, but in fact a sign of a normal immune reaction?
p “Everyone who tests positive should be told that not taking AIDS treatments is a healthy option. I’ve had an AIDS diagnosis for 5 years based on having 180 T cells and a viral load of 350,000. According to their rules, I should be on my deathbed. I’m not even close.
p “We are consistently being told that it is unethical for drug researchers to conduct studies using placebo groups—people who test HIV positive and are not on the drugs. But when studies just compare drugs to drugs, AZT to AZT and protease inhibitors, then there’s no recognition of people who aren’t on any drugs. What are they studying?
p “The HIV hypothesis is not a theoretical debate. As a member of ACT UP, I speak out about this because I’m trying to save lives. I feel I perpetuated AIDS. I stood in front of Harvard Medical Center and demanded the release of ddl and ddC. I wonder how many people I harmed with my AIDS activism. And I’m really trying to figure out what my life has been devoted to. I feel we need to get to the bottom of this and put an end to the madness.”
p Michael BeUefountaine, San Francisco, CA
p “ When I tested HIV positive 16 years ago, the road map for how to die with this condition seemed clear. Creating my own path has been challenging and rewarding. HIV has been a catalyst for personal growth, an inspiration to make changes I needed to make anyway. My life is richer as a result.
p “Although I deal with fear all the time, I never really internalized the HIV=AIDS=Death dogma. I instinctively believed that HIV was a cofactor and that I could manage my health successfully without drug therapies. I pursue an aggressive health management program that includes nutrition and supplementation, exercise and appropriate rest. I use Western, naturopathic and traditional Chinese medicine on an as-needed basis.
114p “While I tend to my body with attention and dedication, I know that all healing is ultimately healing of the spirit. For this reason, I am devoted to my spiritual practice. 1 choose to put my faith in the power of God to heal me rather than in the power of a virus to destroy me.”
p “In March of 1997, I woke up with a rash on my hands and feet that became so painful and intense, it was totally unbearable. I went to see the doctor I’ve had since I left my pediatrician. He said 1 was having an allergic reaction and that it would pass. As long as I was in his office, and since 1 had just broken up with my girlfriend of three years, I asked him to do an HIV test. 1 figured that there was no way I was positive—I had tested negative three years ago when 1 went into the relationship that just ended, and I didn’t have any experiences that put me ’at risk.’
p “ I got a call from the nurse a few days later inviting me to come in and talk to the doctor. She tried to sound casual but her tone made my heart drop. It was obvious something was very wrong. I had to demand to speak to the doctor before she would put me through to him. He told me not to worry, that there had been ’a glitch’ in my HIV test and we had to do it again. Once I was in his office, he explained the ’glitch.’ He said it was like my car had a full tank of gas but there was a glitch in the gas gauge that made the needle point to empty even though my car was full for sure because I’d just filled it. After this highly technical explanation, he took my blood for another test. As I left he told me ‘I’m 99% positive that you’re negative. The tests are unreliable.’ I took him at his word.
p “Three days later, the nurse called again with the same invitation to see the doctor, but this time, no matter what I said, she wouldn’t put the doctor on the phone. When 1 saw my doctor, he told me that the HIV test looks for eight proteins that the body produces when a person become infected, and that if the test finds five or more, a person is HIV positive. He said that my first test had one positive and four negative proteins; the second one had two positive, one indeterminate, and two negative proteins. When I asked what the proteins were, he said they were antibodies, and he used chicken pox antibodies as an example. I asked him why antibodies meant I was immune from chicken pox but that I had HIV. He said HIV was different and I believed him. 1 had a lot of faith in my doctor. He took my blood again and told me to come back in three days with one of my parents.
p “My doctor later told us that breaking the news about my positive test was the hardest thing he had to do in the last ten years of his practice. I cried, my dad cried, the doctor cried. I was 21 years old and it was all over. In a few seconds, my life expectancy went from 85 years to 25.
p “While I thought about how to live out my final years, my dad concentrated on getting me the best care money had to offer. He flew Martin Delaney, the head of the AIDS treatment group Project Inform, in from San Francisco to meet with me in our living room. Marty said it was imperative I start the drugs immediately. After that, I was brought 115 to doctors at UCLA. Since my risks couldn’t be identified, they supposed I was gay and simply unwilling to admit it, and went looking for evidence by sticking glove-covered fingers in my rectum. They, too, said I needed to ’hit it early and hard’ with the drugs. Next, my dad and I were on a plane to New York to meet with Dr. David Ho, the AIDS researcher who had recently been named Time magazine’s Man of the Year. After that, I took a week off from AIDS research. The only decision left to make was which drug regimen to begin, when my exgirlfriend called.
p “I was not at all into hearing anymore about HIV and AIDS from her or other friends with good intentions, but I had a feeling I needed to listen. One thing I’ve learned from this experience is to honor my intuition. She told me that 1 had to see her friend Laura the next day, and somehow I knew that when Laura walked through the door with two shopping bags full of books, my life was about to change. After one book, I realized that my doctor had no idea what was going on and that with just this information, I already knew more than him. A few more books later, I was questioning what Delaney and Ho had to say.
p “Then I went to see Christine Maggiore. She was so calm, it kind of bugged me. After I read her book, it was all over. I read some more just to solidify my knowledge, and so I would be ready with the facts when faced with the inevitable, ’But don’t you see you’re in denial?’ Knowing what I know now, there is no way I would ever take the drugs. I have just one more year before I beat the prognosis of the UCLA doctors who told me, based on my T cells and viral load, to expect illness in three to five years. Instead of being ill, I surf every day that there are waves, I do yoga, I eat organic foods and meditate. I love being alive; life is truly beautiful.
p “My father has gone from hysterical and heartbroken about my decisions, to learning to trust me a little more. My whole family is still afraid for me, but a least they’re listening. People can’t really say much when you have the facts. Not even Martin Delaney and David Ho.”
p Randy Harman, Malibu, CA
p “When I first heard of Gay Related Immune Deficiency (GRID) in 1983, the media reports were already talking about an infectious disease. I thought how ridiculous—viruses aren’t brainy enough to pick out the gays from the straights! Simplistic as that reaction may seem to me now, I think it was fundamentally a valid intuition. My time for an ’HIV test’ came in 1985 when an amorous encounter called me and I landed in a doctor’s office for a Hepatitis B test. Antibodies? Yes. A further test for infection showed no infection, but the doctor wasn’t done with me yet.
p “ I’ll never forget how things played out at the tropical disease clinic where my HIV antibody tests were run. My first result was negative. I remember stumbling over the semantic flip-flop for a moment: Negative is good, isn’t it? Because I had a few slightly inflamed lymph nodes and my ’risk status,’ the doctors doubted the negative result. More blood was drawn. 116 Two weeks later, I was given a positive result. No doubts among the doctors this time. I said ’OK, how about two outta three? And you must have some other test, like with Hepatitis B, to see if my antibodies have done the job and cleared the infection...’ I was told that the clinic was backed up with requests for HIV tests and that I might call my doctor for retesting in six months, but for now I should consider myself infected.
p “That confusing and contradictory experience left me highly skeptical. In the past 15 years, I’ve made some unconventional choices—I’ve never touched any ’anti-HIV drugs or alternative ’AIDS therapies.’ I subscribe to an ’If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ philosophy and I avoid doctors. I’m also convinced that Queers will never live free as long as we are afraid to deconstruct the epidemic of hysteria called AIDS.”
p Robert Johnston, Toronto, Canada
p “I remember the day I received my positive result like it was yesterday. I figured I’d test positive since I’d had unprotected sex with a couple of guys I later learned had died from AIDS. I really thought that I was prepared to hear the result. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I sobbed uncontrollably all the way home. I felt like I had become a character in some sci-fi movie with an alien thing growing inside me that would come bursting out of my chest as I died a horrific death. A part of me did die that day, the part that dreamed and looked towards the future.
p “Denial lasted for over a year. I wasn’t ready to start thinking about dying so I just ignored the whole thing. It wasn’t until I started dating someone else who was positive that I started thinking about trying to fight this thing inside me.
p “ My new love was a nurse who worked for a doctor who specialized in AIDS treatment. When I began a new job that provided medical benefits I started seeing this doctor and after a confirmatory antibody test I was put on regimen AZT and Zovirax. I tried to be a good little pill popper for a while but I grew weary of the little beeping pill box and soon I was missing my meds half the time. The doctors reduced the dosage about a year later and then I became even more irregular with my meds. About two years later, I tested positive a third time and AZT and Zovirax were prescribed again even though my T cells were still a healthy 600 plus.
p “ Given that I knew I wasn’t taking my meds regularly I began to wonder if 1 was really sick since my T cells remained so stable with or without the drugs. For the next three years I took all my pills in the morning if I remembered and would go six months or more without them if I ran out. I’d worry that my next blood test would show that my T cells were dropping but this was never the case. I know now that a part of my lack of discipline came from the fact that I had already given up on the rest of my life. Looking forward was just too painful. Planning for the future seemed pointless. I never really made a conscious decision to stop taking the meds. I just never went back to get more pills the last time they ran out.
117p “A little over a year ago, an acquaintance introduced me to Inventing the AIDS Virus by Peter Duesberg. I went out and bought the book and read it cover to cover in a single sitting. As the sun rose that morning, I sobbed for hours. Then I became angry. Since then I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about the controversy surrounding the HIV=AIDS=Death hypothesis.
p “Today, I am actually able to look towards my future with hope. The nagging fear is hard to shake off, especially when you’re married to a healthcare worker who still finds it hard to believe all those doctors and scientists could be wrong. Everyday I seem farther from the fear and more excited about the possibilities of growing old—12 years ago I didn’t think I would make it to 40.”
p “I was in a monogamous relationship from 1981 to 1992. After the relationship ended in 92, I tested HIV positive. My former partner is HIV negative. He and I remain good friends because our relationship is built on trust. The HIV counselor insisted our relationship must not have been monogamous. Looking back, I think that because my situation did not follow the model for HIV, they were trying to change my circumstances to fit their rules. Since my former partner tests negative, how could HIV be a sexually transmitted disease?
p “Testing positive for HIV antibodies changed my life. 1 was scared that I would get AIDS and die within two years. Once the news of my HIV status became common knowledge among my friends, I noticed a drastic change in their behavior towards me. They became overly sympathetic, like there was something wrong with me. Most of my friends who took the test for HIV antibodies came up negative. Knowing this only compounded my despair and hopelessness. They would make comments like ’Ron, you look so well.’
p “My first T cell count was 500 which, in 1992, put me on the border line for AZT treatment. The Northwest AIDS Foundation showed me a graph demonstrating how I could expect my T cell counts to drop and continue to go down. Because I had a strong will to live, 1 decided to eliminate stress in my life by stepping down from a middle management position to a staff position. I avoided people who offered me little hope or encouragement while I was dealing with my health crisis. To counter the negativity around me, I would think positive thoughts like living a long, productive life. I would envision myself climbing hills and mountains, and my T cell counts gradually increasing. As a result, I had sequential T cell counts in the 900s.
p “ In June of 1994,1 ran across an interview with Jon Rappoport, the author of AIDS Inc., in the Seattle Common Ground. Finding information that challenged my ideas about AIDS set me on a path of discovery which led me to people who not only helped me, but who made it possible for me to help others.
118p ”I learned that the HIV tests detect antibodies formed in response to the virus, not the virus itself, and that the antibodies detected may not even be due to infection with HIV. Because of cross-reactions with antibodies produced by the hepatitis B vaccination, which I had been given, and many other microbes, there was no way to know what my positive test result meant.
p “Almost eight years after testing positive, I remain in good health. I do not monitor my T cell count and viral load, and don’t follow mainstream medical protocol. Instead, I see a naturopathic doctor and acupuncturist. I live in a loving household with my new boyfriend and two dogs. I reach out to others through HEAL Naturally, a public access TV show I produce which operates as a project under the Gay Community Social Services.”
p Ron Piazza, Seattle V’f.rshini-Hoi
p “In 1989, when I was 21 years old, I went to the local health department for a pregnancy test. They asked me if they should include an HIV test, and I agreed. About two weeks later, I got a call at work from a health department employee who told me my pregnancy test was negative, but my HIV test was indeterminate, and that I had to test again. A few days after I took a second test, the health department called and said I had to come back in, but this time I couldn’t get any information over the phone. Once I was there, I was told that I had tested HIV positive.
p “All I remember of that two hour appointment is this counselor drawing circles on a paper. He drew a circle to represent an immune cell and explained that HIV made the circle explode, unleashing all these other little circles of HIV that would infect other immune cells and make those explode. 1 left the health department in hysterics and called my parents. I went home and told my boyfriend that I had tested positive. He accused me of giving him AIDS.
p “I figured I had two years to live at the most. I based this on the famous AIDS victim Kimberly Bergalis, a healthy young woman who lived just two years after testing HIV positive, and my own history of poor health. When I was 13 years old, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. When I was 18, I started having stomach problems. After many doctor visits and medications, I had surgery to remove my appendix and a few inches of my colon. After that, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, an incurable intestinal disorder. I was told this disease would compromise my immune system and give me constant stomach pain for the rest of my life. During the next two years, I came down with mononucleosis, chicken pox, stomach ulcers, and chronic fatigue.
p “By the time I tested positive, I was already frustrated with the medical treatments I had been on for Crohn’s disease and the doctors were pushing me to take steroids, which I was unwilling to do. Instead, I found a book on Crohn’s from a health food store and started on an alternative plan. I began taking acidophilus for my stomach and went through a detoxification using blue-green algae. At the same time as the detox, I 119 began to focus on strengthening my immune system, knowing intuitively that this was the way to go. For five years, I made slow but certain progress with my health using a wide range of herbs, vitamins and minerals. For the past three years, despite my dismal medical history and my positive HIV diagnosis, I have wonderful, vibrant energy which makes me feel so fortunate. I have had no stomach pain for about five years. Interestingly, my T cell counts have never varied—in sickness and in health, they are always about 700.
p “In 1998, I had an unexpected blessing—I discovered I was pregnant with twins. I found an excellent doctor at a well-known hospital who I thought would help me find the best way to ensure the health of my children. Instead, he said he was unable to advise me about HIV, and sent me to what he described as one of the best HIV specialists in the country. This turned out to be a run-down, dirty hospital where social workers kept me waiting in lines for hours. A social worker gave me coverage for medication costs and told me that I should start medication right away, before I had even seen a doctor or had a viral load test. I walked out completely frustrated.
p “In the fifth month of my pregnancy, my whole life changed. I learned of Christine Maggiore and the work that she was doing. She told me everything I needed to hear and followed up with articles, studies, books, videos, and other information—I lost count of all the packages she sent—which I carefully read and studied. It became clear that the only way to avoid AZT and a Cesarean section was to have a midwifeassisted home birth. Ironically, after thorough research on home births, I became convinced this was the safest and most pleasing environment to birth my children.
p “I had two midwives and two assistants for my home birth. There were no complications or medical interventions. At no point did I question that I had made the right choice. I carried the girls to the 40th week with a high protein nutritional program, and was active until the birth. This is unexpected in a multiple pregnancy handled by medical doctors who often recommend bed rest in the last several weeks. Together the twins weighed in at over 12 pounds. They are healthy, beautiful and gaining weight appropriately. An awesome accomplishment for a pregnancy with so much additional stress. I often wonder where we would be today if I hadn’t discovered the many alternatives to the HlV=AIDS=Death views. Don’t let a doctor or health officials tell you what you have to do without knowing your options. Life is so precious!”
p Lynn C. Lake Tahoe. Nevada
p “On May 31, 1991 I had my second daughter who is now eight years old. Following the delivery, the hospital gave me what they described as a standard blood test for women who have just given birth. A week later, I got a call from my doctor who told me that 1 was HIV positive. At the same time, she stated that my test ’was unclear.’ She offered no other information except a referral to a specialist. The doctor she 120 referred me to tested me again and said this new test came out positive, but that he was 80% sure I was a ’false positive.’ He then did a Western Blot which he claimed was more sensitive. When that test came back, he could not give me a straight answer; he only said, ’Let’s assume at this point you have it.’
p “You cannot imagine the mental torture that I went through being told congratulations, you are the proud mother of a beautiful little girl, but you will not be able to watch her grow up. I was 21 years old and suddenly my life was over. The torture continued as they explained that my baby might have contracted HIV from me. For two years, they gave my daughter HIV tests; some were positive and some were negative. At the age of two, she had three tests in a row come back with a negative result. Wanting never to put another child through this, I had surgery to ensure I could never again become pregnant.
p “Even though I had no detectable viral load and had no symptoms of AIDS, in 1997 they put me on a combination of 36 pills a day. Within a couple days of starting the cocktail, I began to lose strength and feel tired all the time. I developed stomach problems, pain mostly, and lost my appetite. The doctor told me that starting the medication early, before symptoms developed, would increase my life span. Before I started the medication my T cell count was over 1,200 and I had an undetectable viral load. Two months into the medication, besides feeling sick all the time, my T cell had count dropped to below 500. My instinct told me that this was not OK so I stopped the cocktail. I am thankful I only took the medications for a couple of months. My doctor told me many times that 1 am a long-term survivor while at the same time, he and other doctors kept trying to get me to try other medications.
p “In July of 1997,1 met my current husband, David Anderson. I told him about having tested HIV positive when we first stated dating. Dave refused to believe that nothing could be done and began to research HIV and AIDS. One day while searching the internet, Dave found Professor Peter Duesbergs website. Through this site he found others such as Alive & Well and HEAL, and he began to make contact with people from both sides of the argument that HIV causes AIDS. We carefully read all materials published by pharmaceutical companies who manufacture anti-HIV drugs. For a year and a half, we read medical journals, research papers, and interviews. Dave and I concluded that AIDS is caused by something other than HIV. Our conclusion is based on the lack of evidence for HIV and the lack of answers to basic questions. The only hard evidence we came up with is that drugs cause AIDS, and that a positive HIV test could be the result of many things such as flu, pregnancy, cancer, and other things I have experienced. Moreover, HIV testing is not standardized, that is, you can test positive at one lab and negative at another. It would be nice if all diseases could be cured just by changing labs.
p “ I do not see a doctor regarding my diagnosis nor do I consume any antiviral medications. Eight and a half years after testing positive, I am healthier than ever. I am 29, have a wonderful husband and have two healthy 121 girls. This is not to say all is well simply because I have found a new reality. My oldest daughter, who is 11 years old, lives with my parents. Her father died in 1989 in an earthquake and my parents took temporary guardianship over her. My HIV positive diagnosis has been used in preventing me from getting her back in my custody. Also, ever since testing positive, I’ve been struggling with anxiety attacks. Despite these attacks, I am going to live my life happy and drug-free.”
p Rhonda Anderson, Austin, TX
p “I was diagnosed HIV positive in 1990. In 1994, protease inhibitors had yet to be licensed for use. Although I had no symptoms of illness, I was encouraged to join a clinical trial which was the only way to access them. At the end of this two-year trial, the drugs would be made available to everyone if they worked, but the way they were being heralded as a ’marvelous new treatment,’ or even a possible cure for AIDS, it was as if it was a forgone conclusion that they worked. It was like I was being granted an enormous favor by this early access.
p “If I’d known the facts, 1 would have never agreed to be in the trial, but 1 didn’t. And after all, I thought, doctors know best. So in March of 1995, I agreed to take part. The trial consisted of AZT, ddl and Saquinavir, a protease inhibitor. Neither I nor the hospital knew if I was on the drugs or the placebo (which was actually AZT monotherapy) and my viral load results were only revealed to the pharmaceutical company. Immediately upon starting the trial, my T cell count plummeted and remained at the same low level. At the end of the two years, it was revealed that I’d been on AZT monotherapy for the first six months, and then on all three drugs for the remainder of the trial. If someone had asked me then if I’d suffered any side effects, the answer would have been no but now I know otherwise. During the first year, I needed a blood transfusion. During the second year I developed lipodystrophy—I had a paunch, my upper arms became thinner, and the veins of my lower limbs began to protrude. But at the time, I put this down to my imagination.
p “By 1997, the clinic possessed an entire menu of drugs and therefore decided to change my combination to Ritonovir, 3TC and D4T and they could do their own viral load testing. My count was 24,000, relatively low, so the doctor assumed that my load must have been incredibly high at the beginning of the trial. Instead, when the trial results were released, they showed I had fluctuated at a constantly low level.
p “I had concerns about the new drugs, especially Ritonovir, after having read in Rolling Stone magazine that some people had died of liver failure while taking it. My doctor brushed aside these concerns as if I were crazy for even raising them. He did, however, warn me to expect dire side effects for the first two weeks. Ironically, the side effects began after two weeks—numbing and tingling in the lips, burning sensation in my upper arms, lethargy, insomnia, crippling stomach cramps and chronic diarrhea. Admittedly, these would mostly occur within a few hours of taking the drugs. The rest of the time, I would be reasonably fine. Then 122 the diarrhea became uncontrollable. The doctor blamed a parasite, but my tests came back clear. He assured me the diarrhea would stop after six weeks. It did not.
p “’It is important to restore a persons quality of life’ says one of the ads for the drugs. Well, all they succeeded in doing to me was to decimate any quality that I had possessed. I no longer had the energy to go to the gym or to participate in regular social activities. I wasn’t even able to go out due to toilet problems—I lost count of the designer underwear I ruined. The practicalities of taking the drugs at certain times, with meals, with liquids, also made conducting a normal life impossible. I spent my days watching cable TV and popping pills which only added to my feelings of depression and isolation.
p “As my viral load stubbornly refused to go down to undetectable, the doctor decided to reintroduce Saquinavir. Combining it with Ritonovir was said to increase its absorption 40 times, and even though no one knew what effect this would have, they added it to my treatment regimen. I developed a skin abscess that swelled to the size of a golf ball and then burst.
p “The pills now filled me with dread. I had a strong intuitive feeling they were killing me which conflicted with the rhetoric of my doctor and the pharmaceutical companies. I felt confused and frightened with no one to turn to. I felt like I was constantly being fed only one side of the story.
p “ Despite all the efforts to portray the drugs as marvelous and wonderful, other information came seeping through—accounts of the mounting side effects and of people dying while on the drugs, along with the true reasons why people with AIDS were living long and what the real causes of AIDS were. I realized that I had been denied the basic right to an informed decision. I began a relentless quest for the truth. When I found out that the viral load test—the only thing that gives any credence to the drugs—basically picks up scraps of genetic material and amplifies the result, I lost all faith in the drugs and my fear was replaced with anger. 1 made the decision to stop taking the drugs.
p “Within weeks I felt better. The diarrhea stopped, the skin abscesses went away, the stomach cramps disappeared, and my T cells shot up. I realized that I had become so used to the effects of the drugs that my ill health had become an accepted state of being, and that I was unaware of the damage being done. I think many people taking the drugs who say they are doing well may be as unaware as I was of the destruction taking place within their own body.
p “At the final visit with my doctor, I lacked the courage to tell him I’d stopped the drugs, afraid he might berate me. Then fate intervened— my last viral load, taken prior to stopping the drugs, had shot up dramatically. He took this as a sign that the drugs were no longer working and failed to take into consideration the fact that I’d had the flu when the test was performed. Despite the facts I now knew, I kept quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing the doctor would make the decision to 123 take me off the drugs. The relief soon turned to despair when he announced he wanted to put me on a combination of five different drugs. I never saw the doctor again.
p “ It cannot be said that the drugs were responsible for ’keeping me well’ for the three years I took them, as the doctor would like me to believe. My first two years on the drugs had been in a trial utilizing a combination that has since been deemed ineffective, and during the final year, I had been plagued with ill health. If anything, 1 am now well in spite of the drugs, not because of them.
p “The decision to stop taking the drugs is a difficult one in the face of pressure from doctors, the propaganda from the pharmaceutical companies and the organizations funded by them, and all the media hype. You really have to believe in yourself and take responsibility for your own life out of their hands and into your own, and just let go. Like Dumbo the elephant who believed he couldn’t fly without the aid of a feather, once he let go, he realized that he could fly without it. Once you take that leap of faith you realize there is life without the drugs.”
p Stepher Rogeis, London, Engionc
p “In 1970, 11 years before the emergence of AIDS and 14 years before Gallo’s discovery of HIV, I began to experience the first signs of immune collapse. It started with a persistent flu that lasted seven months and left me so nauseous and aching I could hardly function. A series of doctors told me that my symptoms were impossible, that a flu lasts weeks, not months, and they advised I go home and rest. Eventually I recovered. But then the impossible happened again.
p “I wasn’t able to mount a challenge to most any ordinary bug. It was very frightening because I realized that I was sinking lower and lower. I would go to doctors and tell them that something must be wrong with my immune system. But since this was years before the immune system became the focus of medical research, they treated me like 1 was nuts for even bringing up the idea. Because no tests they gave me ever revealed what was wrong, they would act annoyed when I would present myself again. ’We told you there’s nothing wrong with you and now you’re back.’ When I tried to make this point about the immune system, they would roll their eyes and act as if I had said something totally bizarre.
p “I began to live in terror of winter and the flu. For years, I restricted my activities and avoided crowds. Despite my extreme efforts, in 1988 I became ill again and this time I didn’t recover. I collapsed at work—I don’t even recall how I got home—and went to bed for the next five years. In rapid succession I developed several of what I later learned were the cardinal signs of AIDS: oral thrush, wasting syndrome (which took me down to 78 pounds), diarrhea, fatigue, and dementia to the degree that I sometimes could not make out if people were actually speaking to me and if they were, what they were saying; words in books would appear as meaningless marks.
124p “On one of my good days, I made it to the bathroom by myself, and curious about a strange sensation in my mouth and throat, I looked in the mirror. My tongue was covered with a thick white growth, thick enough to cut with scissors. This sight inspired me to call a nutritionist someone had recommended—after being dismissed and even laughed at by doctors, I had given up asking them for help. In three minutes on the phone with her I learned that I had systemic candidiasis, a sign of a very depleted immune system, and that the constant illnesses I had were opportunistic infections typical of AIDS. What was left for me to discover was how I could have all these AIDS-defining illnesses even though I am in no AIDS risk group. According to the HIV/AIDS construct, there was no explanation for my depleted immune system.
p “The nutritionist put me on a program of natural antifungal remedies, but my case was too far gone to respond. In 1992,1 was passed on to an MD who miraculously knew what he was doing. He treated me in such a way that my immune system was able to regenerate itself. But it took a long time and I nearly died before I got better. About 12 months after I started the antifungal program, I actually got out of the house for the first time in years—a very shaky little walk to the corner grocery store. It’s still hard for me to remember what great health is like, but mine is improving continually.
p “ I discovered that there is a lot of semantic confusion about AIDS. If you take immune suppression at face value, then it becomes much more logical, and the risks cover a broader area than the official CDC categories. The major risk for me was constant exposure to toxic chemicals through my skin and lungs in the course of my work as an artist—paint thinners, vaporizing chemicals, acids and inks that I’ve since found out are some of the most toxic substances with which one can work. For years, I was practically bathing in these chemicals. Several courses of antibiotics, along with taking birth control pills, and cortisone injections for recurring yeast infections just worsened my condition.
p “ I don’t think it is unreasonable to say that if you start out life with an intact immune system and find yourself midway through with one that has been destroyed, this qualifies as AIDS—no matter how it was destroyed. The body cannot know whether it is being dosed with toxins in the course of one’s work, taking them in as pharmaceuticals while under the care of a doctor, or while dancing the night away under the influence of designer drugs. There are many roads that lead to toxic overload—even the emotional toxicity of being told you carry a fatal virus.
p “I support Peter Duesberg 100% in his toxicity/AIDS hypothesis because of my own experience. I feel as though I have been, very unwillingly, conducting a scientific experiment in my own body. I didn’t have to find any strange virus to explain my illness and I didn’t have to wait for the development of drugs to recover. My immune collapse didn’t happen because 1 had sex with the wrong person, it happened because a body exposed to an onslaught of toxic substances, for whatever reason, will eventually break down. Unfortunately, the medical industry does not 125 want to divorce itself from the germ theory, from the ’single-cause theory,’ and look at the wider picture. If studies were funded to investigate the effects of toxins on the immune system, I think that the ‘mystery’ of AIDS would very soon be solved.”
p “I am an MD in clinical practice in Veracruz, Mexico. At the end of 1997, I gave an interview in El Diario de Xalapa, the most widely circulated newspaper in the state of Veracruz, stating that the causes of AIDS were not viral. As was expected, this created a great deal of controversy: most government officials immediately declared that my statements were wrong. At the same time, they refused all my invitations to debate the evidence upon which I based my statements.
p “In response to my public challenges to the HIV hypothesis, I was contacted by several people diagnosed as HIV positive seeking alternative treatments for the conditions known as AIDS. The information I’d presented generated great doubt about the use of AZT and other antiretrovirals and protease inhibitors.
p “I had been involved with the treatment of AIDS for over ten years. As the head of El Patronato Veracruzano de Lucha Contra el SIDA, 1 treated patients diagnosed with HIV that belonged to the lowest economic strata. Their inability to afford the drugs precluded me from giving them AZT, which has a high cost. As time went by, I began to see that the rich HIV positive patients died, while the poor ones lived and continue to do so. My questions about this situation were answered when my son, Alejandro Flores, sent me the book Inventing the AIDS Virus by Dr. Peter Duesberg.
p “Using my new knowledge, so far I have treated 19 HIV positive and one HIV negative person, all of them males between the ages of 19 and 44. All patients suffered from malnutrition and belonged to the middle or lower economic class. Eight of these patients were treated with antiretrovirals such as AZT given to them by the state health agencies. During their antiretroviral treatment, they showed the typical symptoms: fever, weight loss, diarrhea, and pulmonary infections. They also suffered from depression due to the stigma of believing they had to die, enduring social ostracization and from unkind treatment by their families and others.
p “The protocol that I gave them involved stopping the drug cocktails, antibiotics, antidepressants, anti-diarrheals and following a strict diet. Between two weeks and two months after beginning my protocol, the patients began to get better. Their symptoms began disappearing in this order: diarrhea, weight loss, pulmonary infections and depression.
p “ I would like to give a detailed account of two particular patients that I consider the most relevant. The first is a hair stylist, 33 years of age, homosexual, middle class, with a history of alcohol, cocaine and general drug abuse. He lived in constant conflict with his family because he was diagnosed with HIV in May of 1997. Upon being diagnosed, he began treatment in the AIDS clinic. In October of 1998, his family contacted 126 me and asked to see me. I talked with the family on three occasions and on the third, I had the opportunity to meet with the patient himself. He had been taken to the hospital several times over the past year due to his delicate health condition. His last hospitalization was during the month of October. At that time, the doctors told him to go home and await his death among his family members. When we met, I explained my medical position and my clinical approach. He agreed to follow my treatment protocol without reservations. By the time we met, he had already lost 25 pounds, was immobilized in bed, and barely able to speak. When I said good-bye to him after our first meeting, he told me ’I know that I’m going to die.’
p “ The first week of treatment was very stressful for everybody, including myself. At the beginning of the second week the family of the patient began having serious doubts about the effectiveness of my protocol, but it was then that the patient started to show signs of improvement: first he began eating better, then his temperature returned to normal. Once he was able to get out of bed and sit in his rocking chair, he told me ’Doctor, I want to live.’ By January 1999, he had gained 15 pounds while maintaining the diet that I prescribed, and returned to work.
p “The second case is an HIV negative patient with the symptoms of fullblown AIDS. He is 25 years of age, single, and belongs to the upper middle class. In the last five years he has used antibiotics in high doses, mostly purchased over the counter and self-prescribed. In August of 1998, he started having symptoms that included pulmonary infections, frequent cough, and occasional diarrhea. By September, he began having fevers and was losing weight rapidly. He could not eat solid foods. He was hospitalized and his treatment consisted of more and more antibiotics. When I met him he told me T feel like I am going to die.’ He was deeply anguished and depressed. His family thought that he had AIDS. They asked for my opinion and I told them that he was actually suffering a toxic immunodeficiency caused by the medicines given to him. Although he is HIV negative, I had him follow the exact same treatment given to my patients diagnosed with HIV Needless to say, by January of 1999, all his symptoms were gone, he had gained close to 20 pounds and he was working again. His most recent HIV test is negative. These two cases are under total clinical control and are open to the scrutiny of those interested.
p “ In closing, I would like to let those people who suffer the stigma of an HIV positive diagnosis know that there are scientists that are willing to fight for the truth. You deserve to live.”
p JiKir* lose FioiPS Rocln’ouev. MD. PhD. Veracmz Mexico
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Notes
[94•*] Contact information for each person who provided a testimonial including their complete name, address and phone number may be made available to individuals or organizations upon request.
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